Break on Through

Everything Changes

by

Matthew T. Lipson

2.4 : Break on Through

There are those people we meet with whom we have an automatic connection.  Among those there are the rare few with whom we feel the eternal.  These are the people we will claim love at first sight, give rise to the belief in reincarnation, myths of soul mates.  We don't know them and have never seen them before this first time.  The connection makes us think we know them.  Even if those people exist in worlds we never have traveled.  These people are puzzle pieces to our shattered, fragmented selves.  One of these people walked into my life recently, and I was not ready.  She marched into my life and released my imprisoned feelings of intimacy.  I was not ready.  Expectations were built.  A formula for disappointment.  I never had the time to get to know her before what could have been imploded.  The connection is still there, but the possibilities have been betrayed.  I walk away a better person even if a little more melancholy. 

Wish They All Could Be . . .

Everything Changes

by

Matthew T. Lipson

2.2 : Wish They All Could Be . . .

When a person starts dating they learn a lot about themselves.  For each of us it's different.  We are a synthesis of many things coupled with preconceived notions of how reality is supposed to be.  This leads us to a misguided way of  thinking dictating our motivations.  Our culture leads us to believe dating is primarily about sex.  For me, I quickly learned I was motivated by a deeper connection.  Connection includes many things which sex is just a part and not the most important.  I learned this from my first girlfriend where the connection was only sex.  My second girlfriend, we made an overly rational decision to work on the connection of personality, shared interests, looking at our differences.  Discussing who we were as individuals and how that influences us was most important.  By my fourth girlfriend I had learned how to compromise, but not in a healthy way.  My own interests became secondary to my partner.  By the end of my marriage this led to me becoming nonexistent and ultimately fearing and distrusting emotional intimacy.