Break on Through

Everything Changes

by

Matthew T. Lipson

2.4 : Break on Through

There are those people we meet with whom we have an automatic connection.  Among those there are the rare few with whom we feel the eternal.  These are the people we will claim love at first sight, give rise to the belief in reincarnation, myths of soul mates.  We don't know them and have never seen them before this first time.  The connection makes us think we know them.  Even if those people exist in worlds we never have traveled.  These people are puzzle pieces to our shattered, fragmented selves.  One of these people walked into my life recently, and I was not ready.  She marched into my life and released my imprisoned feelings of intimacy.  I was not ready.  Expectations were built.  A formula for disappointment.  I never had the time to get to know her before what could have been imploded.  The connection is still there, but the possibilities have been betrayed.  I walk away a better person even if a little more melancholy. 

Hey, Bungalow Bill

Everything Changes

by

Matthew T. Lipson

2.3 : Hey, Bungalow Bill

"We're breaking up," she said in her wonderful South African tinged voice.  Coming into the conversation, I just wanted to express some issues I saw from the previous weekend.  This is where the conversation went.  There were many things about this woman that was right.  She was an artist, calm, a progressive thinker, Jewish.  Being from South Africa was just an added unique attribute.  Yet, I always felt there was something missing.  Every time I wanted to tell her I loved her, I suppressed the urge.  When she said this, I took this as evidence of that missing piece, feeling.  Yet, there was the part of me I was ignoring.  There were many excuses I came up with for not telling her I loved her.  There was only one reason with any truth to it.  I didn't trust the feeling of intimate love or what it would do to me.  I blamed it for everything in my past.  So, I locked it away.  I was the something missing.