The End of the Beginning

 

Everything Changes

by

Matthew T. Lipson

4.1 : The End of the Beginning

Remembering the conception of your children should be a nostalgic, heart warming memory.  Nostalgia at its most personal  Unfortunately, as I think of everything leading up to the birth of my second child, I am left cold and disconnected.  I wasn't part of the planning stage, nor was I allowed to be part of the entire pregnancy.    I was kept at arms length purposely, even after we brought her home.  The door was closed.  I had to rip her from my wife's arms just to take her for a walk.  Of all things post divorce, this is still the thing that makes me upset.  No parent, unless they are incarcerated, dead, or otherwise deemed unfit, should be kept from their child.  I was still in the house.  We were still married.  Yet, the door was closed to me.  I was kept a stranger to my own child, as I took care of our first.  The fight for connection would lead to a struggle of epic proportions.